you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
