Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
