My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
