Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I touched a dick in church today
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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