Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You just made me feel so damn special
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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