Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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