Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
