absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
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My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
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I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
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