I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
