he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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