god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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