The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He felt like a one man threesome
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
