2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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