why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
