go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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