Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
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