apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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