Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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