Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
