Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
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