HIV tests are more positive than that guy
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
