I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
