You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
