good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
