I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
i think i just lost a toe
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for