Already got asked if we're dating
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Randomize
