No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
