OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
