im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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