I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize