Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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