we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
