Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Are my feet made of real feet?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
