She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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