I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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