I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
