IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
