Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
