Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
