Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
