Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
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You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
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I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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