Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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