those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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