she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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