Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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