I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
True college students do jello shots in the library
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
