He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
