I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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