my soul wont recognize me after tonight
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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