You smell like a Billy Joel song
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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