whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...