Babe...You're really smothering me right now
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..