Ambien. No doubt about it.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
