i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
