No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Randomize
